Single Parent Getting After It
The anxiousness that once unsettled me about ageing has returned. I haven’t sensed this fear for close to ten years. Louise mitigated this angst, it was the underlying reason that motivated me to marry and appreciate getting old. I have a large tattoo on my left ribs that says; “Omne Vil Nihil,” which translates as;…
It’s already been twelve months since the kids and I were road-tripping around the state. I forgot how many celebrations we have to observe around this time of year. Jboy and Billies birthdays, today’s wedding anniversary, your birthday next week and mothers day around the corner…. Noah, Evie, Benson and I could sure use you…
Crazy crazy times right now. Do you feel like you’re in some kind in bizarre science fiction movie? Personally, I feel remarkably fortunate. I live in an amazing house with more space than three humans and a stinky bulldog need, a massive yard with entertainment galore, plus the kids and I are drowning in toys…
I wish I could say as the months have passed that life has become easier and the levels of anguish have subsided. It hasn’t. You quickly learn how to manage yourself and the people you are responsible for but this is simply survival. While I might not have fully accepted the loss of Lou’s life,…
A year on, I thought I would post Lou’s Eulogy. I actually haven’t been able to read it again, yet. I’ve uploaded it to preserve it for the kids and for anyone that wishes to read it. Hi Everyone, Wow! Thank you for coming today. I hope that if I ever die prematurely that I…
January 25: In 2011, to the day, in Telluride Colorado, at the junction of Seeforever and Plunge, I asked Lou to marry me. Nine years on, we lay a portion of her ashes in the exact same location. Embedded in the breathtaking mountains forever. By chance; This same day 365 days ago also happened to…
With only five days remaining on our trip, I thought I would share some photos of our epic journey. So much fun, so many memories. Still more fun to come but our holiday days are numbered……
I’m just staring at my screen with nothing creative or notable to say. One year has painfully passed since you died. Dealing with your absence hasn’t got any easier. Mentally the last few months have been the hardest. JBoy made a video of all the #BTOTW images that were captured. All 52 of them. He…
As many of you know, each Saturday we celebrate a BTOTW. Most BTOTW’s occur at the McConkey’s, The Courtney’s or The Byrne’s residence as we all, fortunately, live on the same street. Jboy has collected all of the BTOTW images and added some great shots of Lou throughout the compilation.
Nobody knows how to say goodbyeIt seems so easy ’til you tryThen the moments passed you byNobody knows how to say goodbye Nobody knows how to get back homeAnd we set out so long agoSearch the heavens and the Earth belowNobody knows how to get back home Through the darkness to the dawnAnd when I…
“So enjoy your families today everyone. Stop for a while and soak up all the little things….” .
Love my Tay Tay. If you’ve ever cared for a terminally ill patient, this song will likely bring a tear to your eye…..😢 I never thought for one minute she wasn’t going to get better. The buttons of my coat were tangled in my hairIn doctor’s-office-lighting, I didn’t tell you I was scaredThat was the…
When you’re greaving for a loved one that has been unjustly taken from you, you’re heavy. Your mind is heavy, your heart is heavy and your body is heavy. The anguish is a debilitating weight that slows you down. You can move fast when needed but it requires more effort. The issue is that the…
Dear Evie, Today my precious “noonicorn”, you’re five 🖐. You came into this world crying and you’ve never really stopped. 😭😂 You were such a pretty little puffin the minute you wanted out of Mumma’s tummy and you get more beautiful every day. I get emotional just thinking about how much you’ve grown up in…
I thought I would post this song before it blows up on the radio. Adam Levine was one of Lou’s massive crushes. I think he edged out Bradley Cooper and Johhny Knoxville, even if they were combined. Hopefully, I got a run in there somewhere too…… 🤔😉😂 Has Adam pilfered my hairstyle? Love these lyrics……………
People that talk about losing a loved one and grief often mention ‘the year of the firsts’. The first year enduring such a massive loss is likely to be the most difficult, especially as milestones approach. Birthdays. Christmas. Mothers Day. The fast upcoming anniversary of Lou’s passing. I could be very wrong with the above…
This clemency post is my first big apology to my late wife. Ever since we moved into our new house in 2013, I’ve been asking Lou every few months if I can build a skateboard ramp. Noah, our first child, was born the same year we moved into our dream home. I thought the combination…
Best Time Of The Week! As Elysia explained in one of her recent posts: For years and years, for as long as I can remember, at 5:30pm on a Saturday, Jonny would raise his first beer and yell through the house, “Best Time of the Week”… as fate would have it that is also the…
Dressed head to toe in pink with heavy black plastic boots anchoring her to the snow-covered ground. Evie’s dark brown hair is failing to find a place to rest as it blows across her sun-kissed cheeks, streaming to either side of her oversized pink helmet as she travels at seven kilometres an hour down a…
An Insta post from Lou on September 11, 2018 👇🏻 So looking forward to more amazing summery days like today ✨✨ Everything feels lighter in summer, doesn’t it?!? This morning a question popped into my thoughts “I wonder how many more summers I will see?” to which my mind immediately responded “8, 18, 48???” And…
Happy Fathers Day to my father-in-law, Les. It’s Les’s first fathers day where his offspring is half of what it was the previous year. A day that no father wants to celebrate. Les still has one beautiful daughter and he is no less a father, but he has to push on with a soul that…
Yesterday I met up with one of the counsellors for The National Centre for Childhood Grief (NCCG). They came recommended from a family we know that is going through the grieving process due to the loss of a loved one. My intention for the session was to; Validate how I’ve been managing Noah and Evie’s…
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ So Elysia, Louise’s sister (and very best friend) wanted to take photos of our six kids to record memories and times together as a blended family. I say “our six kids” and “blended family” because that is essentially what we have become. Elysia and Jon have taken over many of the motherly responsibilities once…
Your dark brown hair is still in your brush. Your socks are rolled up in a ball, stuffed in the top of one of your tiny pink running shoes, ready for a gym session. Your book; “Book Of Joy” by The Dalai Lama is neatly placed at your side of the bed, bookmarked on page…
Not an hour goes by that I don’t think of you. I was telling Noah and Evie on Wednesday night that I miss you yelling at me. They thought that was pretty funny. Evie still asks most weeks; “When is mummy not going to be died anymore?” She enjoys wearing your clothes and makeup. She…
I still can’t believe it.
So on Friday the 24th, Jon and I picked up Lou. Well her ashes anyway. You might ask why we took so long to do this. The answer is, I don’t know.
Hi Kids. Now, I know you know that I am no longer physically with you anymore but your dad knew me so well that if I could send a letter, he knows exactly what I would say. He’s pretty smart your dad….😉 Dear beautiful babies, I know you miss me like crazy but I am…
My Mum, You are as beautiful as a shiny star. You feel like a soft kitten. You sound like pink the singer. You smell like a rose. I love you Mum and I always will. Love Noah
About a month ago, on the first weekend of April, I organised a weekend away with a few other dads that lost their wives to cancer. Unfortunately one of the dads had to pull out at the last minute because his daughter was very ill during the week. He’ll be on the next widowers weekend…
Hi Dom, I hope all is well and you enjoyed your Easter break to the Gold Coast. Evie has been telling us all about Movie World and the water park you went to. I just wanted to discuss the topic of Mother’s Day with you. I know this is a sensitive topic this year and…
Joshua Sadie Noah Billie Evie Georgina Happy Birthday From Joshua, Sadie, Noah, Billie, Evie and Georgina…… ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
When Lou turned 40 this time last year, it was during a very short period that we thought she was cancer free. Our original plan was to throw a big combined 40th birthday party when she was feeling 100% and we were confident the nightmare was behind us. At the last minute, Lou decided to…
How awesome was our wedding? It was a three-day event. The bridal team did a flash mob dance to LMFAO “Party Rock” and Michael Jacksons’s “Thriller.” So much fun. I think the highlight was Jon and Elysia singing this song by John Prine: They nailed it! Xx
I have such positive memories of you and the way you appear in my thoughts. My momentary or flash style thoughts of you typify who you were; happy, excitable, motivated, high energy, contagious with affection……… Xxxxx
Evie asked me yesterday morning; “when is mummy not going to be died anymore?.” She is still grappling with her understanding around the sense of time which is simply an age thing. She cuddles and smells Lou’s things very passionately, as though she is cuddling mummy herself. She puts on Lou’s makeup with slightly less…
I’ve been a little quiet on the blog posts lately. I’ve commenced a few but have lacked spark and creativity to continue. If the motivation has been missing I haven’t bothered pushing it. I’m attempting to roll with the punches as best I can and not put myself under too much pressure in any way.…
I thought I would share a letter I received last Wednesday from Evie’s primary daycare teacher, Emily. Evie has a virus at the moment. She is holding up pretty well. Poor little Evie Pops. She really misses her mum.
I really like the lyrics to this song: No, I didn’t learn German in my three-month stay, Google helped me out with the translation on this one…. Here is the translation: I can’t see anymore, I put no trust in my eyes anymore, can hardly believe anymore – feelings have turned around. I’m much too lazy…
It’s the first day of autumn today, it’s not really of any significance, to me it just means that the year is getting on in a hurry. Well, it also means we are one season away from getting a few turns in atop of the Aussie Alps. Noah keeps asking me “when are we going…
Dear Noah, Happy Birthday. Six years old today, wow. Before you drifted off to sleep last night you said you wanted to “give Mumma a cuddle.” Evie then repeated the exact same words you said. Sure she wants to cuddle and kiss mummy as much as you do, but the reason she is your little…
We’re having some interesting family conversations about where mummy is. For a six-year-old, Noah asks some very mature and considered questions. His mind explores the various elements of; cancer, dying, death and the afterlife. One question Noah asked me last week was; “Daddy, do you think mummy knew she was going to die?” It’s funny you…
Do I know how to handle the death of a loved one? Nup. I have no idea. I’ve found myself googling “grief’ and related keywords a few times in the past week. I’m not sure if I’m looking to get a heads up on what type of feelings are around the corner or I’m attempting…
Three weeks. That’s how long you’ve been gone. A drop in the ocean of time. Why does it feel like so much longer? Yesterday was a little tough for me. I got a little emotional when I dropped Noah off at school. My sadness was triggered simply because he’s so brave. He gives me a hug,…
Lou’s Funeral, the celebration of her life, was a great day. It feels strange to write those words but ‘it is what it is.’ Sending her off into the sunset with family and friends, side-by-side in puddles of tears, to bid her farewell is a mandatory part of the process, and we did it well. The…
I’ve got time, I’ve got love, Got confidence you’ll rise above, Give me a minute to hold my girl, Give me a minute to hold my girl………………………………………………………
So I mentioned in Lou’s eulogy on the exact day of her funeral – eight years ago, almost to the hour, I asked her to marry me. An amazing coincidence. I only discovered this fact when I thought it would be fitting to spread some of Lou’s ashes in the location I proposed. I decided…
Dear Lou, It’s been a week since you escaped from your pain and suffering. I’ve attempted to write a post in the last few days but haven’t had the energy. It might easier if I write a short letter, just to let you know that we miss you. I took a photo of Noah at the…