This first photo was taken a handful of days before Lou found a lump. 18 months later on 12 January 2019, Louise would sprout angel wings.
While five years goes by extremely quickly, there are nearly 2000 days in that time.
You can’t change a minute that passes by but you can influence the proceeding minutes.
Every situation has two handles. For Lou’s own children’s development, Lou’s family and I have to choose the handle with the most appropriate perspective at all decision points.
One handle might represent a negative or despairing perspective, focusing on the pain, loss, and grief. The other handle a more positive or constructive perspective, emphasising the memories, lessons, and personal growth that can come from her loss.
One handle might represent unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as denial, isolation, or destructive behaviour, which prolongs the grieving process. The other handle, healthier coping mechanisms, like seeking support from friends and family, changing habits and life choices, or finding constructive ways to memorialise and remember Lou as a daughter, sister, wife, friend, professional and loving mother.
One handle may represent dwelling solely on the loss and the void it creates, leading to prolonged suffering. The other a focus on celebrating her fortunate (while short) and impactful life, cherishing the positive memories and finding ways to honour her legacy.
Sometimes it’s hard but If we keep choosing the “handle” that promotes the positive perspective, then Evie and Noah will find it easier to navigate their own thoughts and grieving process through the stages of their lives so they inherently ensue healing and acceptance.
The second photo in this post is Lou’s two beautiful children, five years after she had to go. These amazing kids are curious, resilient, empathetic, independent, adaptable, friendly and respectful.
They are developing a holistic approach to life, nurturing the cognitive, emotional, social, and physical skills to make them good people. They have many years ahead of them but their mother is guiding them through her family and friends they have around them.
Cheers to Lou.