I go through these stages where I imagine Lou turning up, just walking through the door at that very moment.

“Oh look, kids, mummy is here!!!”

The thought of this event might not happen for weeks and then it becomes a daily occurrence again. The grief roller coaster of emotions must trigger various thoughts and Lou’s virtual presence is a result.

The last of these episodes have been a positive experience. It’s like some kind of affirmation where Lou is validating that we are in a good spot.

While the dreamlike experience may only last a few seconds, a long detailed scene plays out in my subconscious.

The kids are drawn to Lou’s presence like she never left. They run to her like she’s simply walking in the front door from an outing.

She is surprised at how big Noah and Evie are, she is instantly complimentary of how much they’ve grown, how beautiful they are. She is overwhelmed with their happiness.

Mummy is so proud of them. Impressed with their friends, their little social lives, their love for school and all that they cram into their busy lives.

They are all excited and it’s emotionally gratifying to watch.

Noah is moulded to Lou on one side and Evie snuggled on the other as they chatter.

Instead of feeling empty as the wave of Lou’s presence passes by, it’s a warm feeling, it feels like a family hug.

Thanks for dropping by Mumma!