The anxiousness that once unsettled me about ageing has returned. I haven’t sensed this fear for close to ten years. Louise mitigated this angst, it was the underlying reason that motivated me to marry and appreciate getting old.
I have a large tattoo on my left ribs that says; “Omne Vil Nihil,” which translates as; “All Or Nothing.” This statement could be no more applicable to the decision point I remember arriving at when I became excited to marry.
I was in no rush to get engaged and the pressure applied by family and friends had nill influence on my decision. I took my time. I needed to arrive at the decision with earnest clarity and personal RESOLUTION. When I was ready, I was “all-in” for the rest of my life.
I became extremely enthusiastic to enjoy the ride, travelling towards being a grandpa, living all the days proceeding to expected death, with Lou. I get emotional thinking about how much our children’s children would have loved ‘Grandma Lou Lou’.
I have now soared past 42 years of age and heading towards 43 like a bullet train with no brake. Louise will forever be a youthful 40 years, 8 months, 14 days old. Never a day older. So beautiful, so young, so energetic, so fun.
Dear Lou Lou,
I no longer celebrate your yearly annuity as it’s now static, I celebrate the day you were born and I celebrate our individual worlds colliding.
I celebrate the time we had together.
I celebrate the family we made.
I celebrate all that you were and all that you would’ve been.
I miss you. Non stop.
Noah misses you.
Evie misses you.
We love you.