Metastatic Triple Negative Breast Cancer Blog I Louise DeCelis

felling depressed

The Mental Pain Cave – I Was Deep

 Dominic Byrne  

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Aug09
As beautiful as it looks have you ever seen that heavy grey fog that settles in the valley of the blue mountains? That valley was my head. I couldn’t see a fucking thing. A cold wet mist, clouding my brain and crippling my existence. In reflection, it’s scary just how

Dominic Byrne Profile Shot

Addressing My Feelings And Letting Go

 Dominic Byrne  

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Aug03
Over the coming weeks, I want to focus on the most healthy personality I can possibly be. This will need to be carefully balanced between work, play, love and even spirituality. What is held in the mind will manifest. I’m healing what is behind me so I don’t have fear

sunlight

Grief – Pride – Courage – Acceptance – Peace

 Dominic Byrne  

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Aug02
I haven’t read a book in years. My master’s degree turned me off reading and then Lou’s death and becoming a single parent sent reading way down the priority list. Picking up a single book has enlightened me. So many messages that resonate and have given me courage. Being forced

I AM

 Dominic Byrne  

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Aug01
We pay a massive price holding on to smallness if we want greatness. Smallness brings weakness, sickness, disease and even premature death. I AM letting go of the negative, I am surrendering it and choosing to love. I AM taking responsibility for my own consciousness as blame is the world’s

Going For Greatness!

 Dominic Byrne  

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Jul31
My sister recommended a book and it’s a game changer for me. It is the spark I needed to motivate and action my healing. It couldn’t have come at a better time. The teachings are allowing me to see things from a different perspective and context. I am surrendering my

Down But Not Out

 Dominic Byrne  

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Jul30
I spiralled into a state of apathy and depression in mid-June and have become more bogged by the day. A lot of my issues have to do with a relationship, assimilation of two worlds, a poor decision and failed communication and understanding. The best thing I can do to remedy

take me back to the beginning

Back To The Beginning

 Dominic Byrne  

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Jul28

hanging by a thread by Aaron Espe

Hanging By A Thread

 Dominic Byrne  

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Jul01

hervey bay

They Will Be Teenagers Tomorrow

 Dominic Byrne  

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Jun17
Half Way through 2022. The year is dissolving without notice. Where does the time go? My precious children are growing up so fast, they will be teenagers tomorrow. Up until last week since February 2018, I’d never left the kids for more than two consecutive nights. This month I holidayed

louise and evie bath home

“Why Are Mums So Special And Why Am I so Lucky?”

 Dominic Byrne  

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Jun03

5 Reasons You Should Talk To Kids About Cancer 

 Dominic Byrne  

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May02
“Mother’s Day can be an especially tough time of year for children and families that have been impacted by cancer. Father of two, Dominic, from Sydney, explains why it is so important to talk to kids about cancer following his own experience after wife Louise died from breast cancer in

louise-decelis-44th-birthday-post

April Isn’t A Kind Month To Me

 Dominic Byrne  

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Apr29
Happy Birthday, Lou Lou! 40 + GST. Evie rose early this morning as she always does. Often it’s on the wrong side of the bed but she was kind to me today. We cuddled on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket and flipped through some photos as the sun attempted

noah-byrne-frogs

Don’t Go Little Monkey, Not Yet

 Dominic Byrne  

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Mar12
“I’m going to sleep in my own bed tonight dad.” I’ve never heard that from Noah before. He has never slept in his own bed. He went straight from his cot to sleeping with Mumma and Dadda and never graduated from there. So after a whole lot of talk in

Grief Kid Instagram Post

Grief Kid

 Dominic Byrne  

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Mar02

noah byrne pic collage

Nine!

 Dominic Byrne  

 131 Comments

Feb21
Noah, Today you are nine years of age. Your last year in single digits. I can’t believe you were only six years old when I left. Such a heavy load to bear when you were so young. Your shoulders are so broad and strong though, I’m in awe of the

Noah Byrne finding a coconut in fiji

MUMMA’S BOY

 Dominic Byrne  

 128 Comments

Jan14
The three year anniversary of Lou’s death was special but poignant. Just getting to Momi Bay, Fiji was a challenge. The Omnicron Covid variant was on the loose in Sydney, severely impacting holiday travel. As a vacating family of 11 we were magical to dodge positive tests before departure. It

jboy and the kids

THREE LOOOOONG YEARS!

 Dominic Byrne  

 23 Comments

Jan12
You’ve missed so much Lou. The kids, particularly Noah (his memories are more vivid than Evie’s) are missing you incredibly right now. He’s had several moments in tears over the Christmas period and my heart aches for him but I love seeing him process the pain and cry it out.

holding hands

Our Optimism Was So Bloody High

 Dominic Byrne  

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Nov20
I can’t believe it’s been three years since we were in Germany. Fighting for life. Looking back our optimism was unrealistic. Lou was so-so sick and her chances of survival must have been near zero. But they were “near zero”, they weren’t zero. I’m proud that WE all hung onto

Beautiful Evie Pops

Beautiful Girl, It’s Your Birthday

 Dominic Byrne  

 45 Comments

Nov01
My little beauty. You won’t remember but we used to have these little clashes. You were only three years old but the little mixing pot we both shared of; fire, stubbornness and a pinch of crae-crae was the perfect tiny storm for some mother and daughter friction. Always trivial of

grief kid instagram post

Mummy’s Proud

 Dominic Byrne  

 44 Comments

Oct15
I go through these stages where I imagine Lou turning up, just walking through the door at that very moment. “Oh look, kids, mummy is here!!!” The thought of this event might not happen for weeks and then it becomes a daily occurrence again. The grief roller coaster of emotions

Evie Byrne holding River byrne and love for daddy

Home Sweet Home

 Dominic Byrne  

 56 Comments

Oct09
What Lockdown?? Noah, Evie and I left our home for a 10-day road trip on the 24th of June. A scheduled 10 days on the road turned into 107 days of running. The intention was to cruise up the coast to the Goldie and hit all the theme parks to

louise and Evie Pops

Missing Piece

 Dominic Byrne  

 44 Comments

Sep24
Three years ago in Septemeber 2018,  Lou Lou took Elyisa, Jboy and I to Brisbane to see the Vance Joy concert at the River Stage. On the morning of the concert Louise had a massive panic attack while we were looking for somwhere to have breakfast and commence our exciting

cheers, to Lou

Father’s Day!

 Dominic Byrne  

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Sep05
The kids have never slept in their own bed’s. This is Noah and Evie this morning, still dreaming about “candy” and playdates: Am I made of velcro? 😂 🤗 And this is when they woke up: Cuddle soup… Lou Lou, I wake up like this every day because of the

One Week In With Cancer - Louise DeCelis

13 July 2017

 Dominic Byrne  

 53 Comments

Jul13
1286 Days Ago…….. “Some of you will now know that last week I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. A rare and aggressive form, which I thankfully found early.Yesterday I went into battle with my first round of chemotherapy.I’ve ridden the rollercoaster of emotions but I’ve landed in a really positive

lou-and-dom-mexico

Acceptance

 Dominic Byrne  

 43 Comments

May27
Acceptance is a real mess. Last year was a struggle, no denying that. Stages of grief are not linear however some literature will tell you that after being down in the dumps you should turn the corner to a more positive state. As far as the “stages” are suggested to

louise and evie byrne

You Don’t Look A Day Over 40

 Dominic Byrne  

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Apr28
So in January, I decided to have three months off the booze. I had my last alcoholic beverage on Friday the 29th of January this year. I didn’t realise until many weeks into my teetotaling stretch that my three-month stint winds up on your birthday. There is no better day

Visiting Meroo Union Church

Nine Years Married

 Dominic Byrne  

 69 Comments

Apr20
I don’t really believe in “signs” from those that have left this world. I wish I did but my gut feel is that they are simply coincidences. A few weeks back I was driving past the charming little church Lou and I were married in. I decided to stop and

Louise DeCelis Cancer Council Event

A Girls Night In, Lou’s Speech, 2017

 Dominic Byrne  

 45 Comments

Mar08
Today is International Women’s day, it’s about celebrating women’s achievement, raising awareness against bias and taking action for equality. Lou strived for all of these objectives. She was driven in the corporate world, a successful business owner, she orchestrated the family household and she was a phenomenal mother. Louise thought

Noah and Dominic Byrne at the top of Mount Kosciusko, THrebdo

Happy Birthday Noah

 Dominic Byrne  

 54 Comments

Feb21
Dear Noah, I miss you beautiful boy. I wish I could touch your precious face. I don’t think you realise how important you are to Evie and your daddy. You have become a little rock for them. In many ways, they are anchored to you and it’s your courage and

louise and evie at home

What Have I Lost?

 Dominic Byrne  

 2 Comments

Jan11
Hey, where did you go? Why? I’ll wake up tomorrow and it will be two full years. What have I lost?? I lost what we had, which was unrivalled. But we lost our future too. I think this component hurts the most because the future was exiting. Especially with the

2020 F&*K YOU!!

 Dominic Byrne  

 1 Comment

Dec22
COVID aside, my year was muddled. I just couldn’t find a spark and with no spark, no momentum. I’ve often used sporting analogies when commentating about struggles on this blog, especially during Lou’s fight for life. There’s a tremendous amount of review and analysis that goes into a professional sport

happy birthday Evie, love Mumma

Happy Birthday Beautiful Girl

 Dominic Byrne  

 45 Comments

Nov02
Dear Evie,  OMG, you’re such a beautiful girl.  You weren’t even three when I was diagnosed with cancer. You’d just turned four when I sadly left your world. Now you’re six. Six years old, I truly can’t believe it.  A six-year-old girl isn’t meant to have dealt with their own

Evie Byrne Riding At Bike Territory Narrabri

“Does Mummy Get Wet When It Rains?”

 Dominic Byrne  

 50 Comments

Oct13
My little rabbit asks the the best questions. Well they are the best because: 1.) She asks them all the time, often daily. Which means she’s always thinking about her mum but most importantly she is talking about her. 2.) They are difficult to answer. Especially because they are often

Noah Byrne on he back of the ute in Pilliga

“I want to be like my mum because my mum is my hero.”

 Dominic Byrne  

 64 Comments

Sep19
Noah had a public speaking project to prepare for and execute. When handed the assignment we discussed subject options. Noah favoured a “Potential Speech Topic” suggested by his school. “My hero is……………………….(could be mum or dad)” I was excited that Noah wanted to talk about his mum and why she’s

byrne family fun missed by louyise decelis

Walking Through The Door

 Dominic Byrne  

 86 Comments

Aug04
I regularly envisage Lou walking through the door. I assume this is a prevalent event for any individual that has tragically lost someone they love. It can often evoke a feeling of happiness as it depends on the stimulant for the vision. Most often though, the vision of her presence

18 MONTHS

 Dominic Byrne  

 43 Comments

Jul12
We’re on a beautiful family holiday in the historic Southern Highlands and the only thing that is missing is Louise. Les, Lynda, Jboy, Liesy, JJ, Sadie Girl, Noah, Bill-Bill, Poppa, The G, Me (Daddy Dom) but no Lou. We’re staying in a charming big house on the northern outskirts misty

Louise DeCelis on her honeymoon in Capri

Where’s My Love??…

 Dominic Byrne  

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Jun05
Cold bones, yeah, that’s my love She hides away, like a ghost Ooh, does she know that we bleed the same? Ooh, don’t wanna cry but I break that way Cold sheets, oh, where’s my love? I am searching high, I’m searching low in the night Ooh, does she know

Dominic Byrne Stellar Magazine

“My Children Will Never Forget Their Late Mother”

 Dominic Byrne  

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May17
It’s always nice to have Lou’s storey revisited and some attention on the narrative that’s unfolding as we push ahead without her. Last Sunday morning the kids and I walked up to the corner store so they could purchase a paper each and flick through the lift-out magazine in search

Dominic Byrne, husband of louise decelis, cancer blog

Why Has This Year Been So Hard?

 Dominic Byrne  

 2 Comments

May14
I’m in a mental rut. I feel like shit. Why? Last year I focused on having more good days than bad days. I felt if I could achieve this overarching objective while still in disbelief and shock I’d be somewhat winning. It was a given that I’d have a bunch

Family cuddle

Love Mumma xx

 Dominic Byrne  

 43 Comments

May10
On Friday morning while waiting in the warmth of the sun for our takeaway breakfast, I was flicking through the newspaper while Evie was practising her cartwheels on the footpath and encroaching on everyone’s safe-COVID-space.  She stops overturning to ask me an honest question. “Hey Dadda, what do you want to

Louise, pregnant with Noah and with Josh

It’s Mothers Day In Two Sleeps….

 Dominic Byrne  

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May08
As mothers day approaches and I tactically prepare the kids for a day that will be a mixed bag of celebrations and sorrow. Sometimes someone else’s words are much better than my own. Noah and Evie both see a grief counsellor from time to time at The National Centre For

Louise DeCelis at her 40th 2018

The Birthday Girl

 Dominic Byrne  

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Apr29
The anxiousness that once unsettled me about ageing has returned. I haven’t sensed this fear for close to ten years. Louise mitigated this angst, it was the underlying reason that motivated me to marry and appreciate getting old. I have a large tattoo on my left ribs that says; “Omne

Louise's Dad, Les Decelis, walks Lou down the isle at wedding

Eight Years Married Today

 Dominic Byrne  

 47 Comments

Apr20
It’s already been twelve months since the kids and I were road-tripping around the state. I forgot how many celebrations we have to observe around this time of year. Jboy and Billies birthdays, today’s wedding anniversary, your birthday next week and mothers day around the corner…. Noah, Evie, Benson and

COVID-19

 Dominic Byrne  

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Apr14
Crazy crazy times right now. Do you feel like you’re in some kind in bizarre science fiction movie? Personally, I feel remarkably fortunate. I live in an amazing house with more space than three humans and a stinky bulldog need, a massive yard with entertainment galore, plus the kids and

Louise DeCelis In San Fran

As Time Passes The Rawness Is Replaced By Reality

 Dominic Byrne  

 45 Comments

Mar17
I wish I could say as the months have passed that life has become easier and the levels of anguish have subsided. It hasn’t. You quickly learn how to manage yourself and the people you are responsible for but this is simply survival. While I might not have fully accepted

lou, dom, noah - NZ

When You Love Someone But It Goes To Waste

 Dominic Byrne  

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Feb29

A love heart from Louise and Dominic Byrnes Wedding

Lou’s Eulogy: 25 January 2019

 Dominic Byrne  

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Jan26
A year on, I thought I would post Lou’s Eulogy. I actually haven’t been able to read it again, yet. I’ve uploaded it to preserve it for the kids and for anyone that wishes to read it. Hi Everyone, Wow! Thank you for coming today. I hope that if I

Spraying champagne on Seeforever for Louise Decelis

You’re In The Mountains And The Mountains Are In You!

 Dominic Byrne  

 46 Comments

Jan25
January 25: In 2011, to the day, in Telluride Colorado, at the junction of Seeforever and Plunge, I asked Lou to marry me. Nine years on, we lay a portion of her ashes in the exact same location. Embedded in the breathtaking mountains forever. By chance; This same day 365

Epic Time Away With Evie and Noah

With only five days remaining on our trip, I thought I would share some photos of our epic journey. So much fun, so many memories. Still more fun to come but our holiday days are numbered……

Louise Decelis in telluride, Main Street

365 Days

 Dominic Byrne  

 44 Comments

Jan12
I’m just staring at my screen with nothing creative or notable to say. One year has painfully passed since you died. Dealing with your absence hasn’t got any easier. Mentally the last few months have been the hardest. JBoy made a video of all the #BTOTW images that were captured.